“Give up on your dream and die”
Wait!! The quote is from Attack on titan(anime/manga). There would be spoilers for the same(upto season3 of it), incase you’re planning on watching it.
When I first heard this quote it was without any context, so I assumed it was supposed to be humorous. But when I actually heard this in the series with all the context, it wasn’t funny anymore.
This starts with a man who has been obsessed with a single thing for more than half his life. That single obsession is his dream and goal; his purpose. Every single decision he made, every choice were all a result of meticulous calculations with one result in mind. That’s Erwin Smith.
A conversation takes two people. In our case the other person is Levi Ackerman. A clean freak, known as humanity’s most powerful soldier. A lot can be said about Levi but this, is about Erwin. His relentless drive towards the truth, towards his dream and his father’s dream.
To understand that drive, we begin when a young and curious Erwin asks a question he wasn’t allowed to ask. The answer to which question he’ll be chasing all his life from then on.
“How did they find out that there aren’t any humans outside the Walls?”
The question’s rationality fails in front of mass’ fear. Though Erwin does receive a vague answer from his father, who shares the same sentiment. But in his young naivety Erwin doesn’t realise the weight of his own question or his father’s answer. That naivety costs Erwin his father’s life. This becomes the point of birth of Erwin’s dream, proving to the world he and his father were correct. Finding the answer to the question he now knew he wasn’t allowed to ask.
Years pass as Erwin tries to get closer to his dreams. He ends up at a position of power; with resources and choices at his disposal to mould according to his desires. He makes tough decisions for humanity. Difficult decisions, decisions which require sacrifice but benefit humanity in the long term. He is able to shoulder the burden of those decisions because of his goals. He has things to discover, those tough decisions are the price.
Armin says something at one point.
“To surpass monster, you must be willing to abandon your humanity”
Erwin ends up becoming the embodiment of this. Of course some people would judge Erwin and call him a “devil”, a “bad person”. But those were also the people who couldn’t shoulder the burden of those decisions; who wanted someone like Erwin to do that for them, so they could survive.
But even with all this the day arrives when Erwin reaches so close to his goal. The truth he had been trying to prove so badly comes within his hands reach. But there is a catch, as there always is. To reach that truth they need defeat an enemy. But there is only one person capable of that, Levi. But even he wouldn’t win without catching the enemy off guard; without sacrificing Erwin and their other comrades.
Erwin knows how to win, the only way for humanity to survive. But he has to die, when he’s so close to his dream, so close to his reason for survival. This is when Levi tells him this:
“Give up on your dream and die”
This is the reaction Erwin gives:
He almost looks relieved here. His life might have revolved around a single goal; he might have looked like a devil on from the outside who exchanged lives of his comrades to save more people; but he was human. Ever comrade who’s life was lost, he felt it. He was so consumed by a single goal, he lost himself too. He lived a nightmare, and ironically he had no idea what he would do if and when that nightmare ended. If he fulfilled his dream, what would he do, he didn’t know.
Levi’s words finally give him a way to rest. The endless struggle finally comes to an end.
Erwin is one of my favourite characters. Intelligent, far-sighted, brave. His one flaw, he was so consumed by one thing that it drained him completely.
Dreams are important, but are they worth losing yourself for.
